Ana Uhibbuki fillah

If only,

If Only we could, but we can never.
I know that you, would do anything, just anything to bring it all back to how it was.

But we knew exactly, you can't. I can't, we can never bring it all back together again, the pieces of our broken hearts.
Allah Knows Best, why.
Even if things get better in the future, tomorrow, next month, and indeed it feels better after 8 months back, better than 2 years ago. But still, we can never be the same again. And we both knew it will never goes back to how it was before everything, 2-3 years ago.

We can never undone what we have done, everything was all written forever in our books. Everything will be displayed scene by scene, layer by layer, word by word. And it really really really scary to think about mine, it makes me shiver to think how this calamity actually has two sides part, you know I have faults too, besides your dissapointment towards the other side, I know you knew I was wrong about this and that. Even after your loss upon me leaving, even after your tears and comfort words and all those beautiful duaas reminder you gave to me. And even, if you and everyone would forgive me for all my faults, things still won't ever go back to where we want.

Because this only dunya. And dunya is not where we live peacefully, and dunya is not where we can be perfectly happy, and I know you know that, too. And we both then, dreaming, praying, we will always making the same ultimate duaa...to The One and Only Hope, to The Gatherer, silently, or secretly on our blogs ':)

"Maka sesuatu yang diberikan kepadamu, itu adalah kenikmatan hidup di dunia; dan yang ada pada sisi Allah lebih baik dan lebih kekal bagi orang-orang yang beriman, dan hanya kepada Tuhan mereka, mereka bertawakkal."

- Qur'an [42:36]